i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
