You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
