and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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