hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
