he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
