There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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