I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
