I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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