Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
