Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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