Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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