goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
