I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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