Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
