Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
