He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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