lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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