So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
