we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
