Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Randomize
