if i can run in heels then i can drive
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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