in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
