Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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