Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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