I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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