bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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