if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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