He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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