I cannot find my penis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
