wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
