Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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