I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
