I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
