I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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