PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
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Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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