I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I FOUND THE LEGS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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