i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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