white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
