If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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