i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
