Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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