She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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