i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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