wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
