accomplished twins. life is a go
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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