He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
