the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
