"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
