We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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