There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
