he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
