Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
