Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
