The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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