its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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