either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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