Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think people are normalizing furries
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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