? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
