If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
