Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
there's paper in my vomit.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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