Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is Oprah even human
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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