I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
