are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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