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Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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