Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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